Way Back Into Love
by EmandEms
Summary: Clare attempts to sort through her feelings for Eli. She seeks closure, but that's the last thing on Eli's mind.
1. Stuck in the Middle

It was raining again. It had rained almost every single day since I broke it off with Eli. The dreary weather seemed to be sneering at me, putting a damper on the spring sunshine I so desperately wanted and only furthering my misery.

Mom didn't see what the big deal was.

"_You_ broke up with _him,_ Clare," she had told me when I returned from the dance in tears. "If you wanted to be free, why are you so upset?"

I had been asking myself the same question every day since.

I stared out the window despondently, completely ignoring the tremendous pile of homework to my right. There was no way I could focus on the intricate formulas of algebra, the history of the French Language or the essay on _Lord of the Lies_ for Mrs. Dawes. I had more important things to think about.

I had tried to work on the essay earlier, but all I could think about was sitting in front of Eli in English while Mrs. Dawes handed out the assignments, going crazy wondering if he was looking at me or not. I knew that at lunch my eyes never left the back of his head.

Gosh, I was such a creep. I broke up with the boy for a reason. He was intense, and lately very scary. He drove his car into a freaking wall, destroying it, just because of some flippant comment I made when I was angry. I was only fifteen, not near old enough to be dealing with all the stuff. But for some reason, I couldn't get the raven-haired, green-eyed boy out of my mind.

I knew why, though. I still loved him. Passionately.

He showed me with most patient, tender and exciting love I had ever known. He was my stability throughout my parents divorce and crisis of faith. He was my snarky, sarcastic, book-loving, incredibly tolerant and loveable boyfriend. Eli was my everything. I threw away the love of a lifetime because I got scared.

When Fitz came back and he got all possessive and intense, I pulled back. Not because I didn't love him, but because I wanted normal. I _needed_ normal. The emotional stress of my parents' divorce, which was never supposed to happen, was killing me.

Then everything with that stupid story…and I knew I needed a break from. He wasn't my solace anymore. I thought he would understand that…that we had put too much into each other and needed some time apart. I had every intention of returning to his arms after a week or so, until the phone call that doomed Morty.

Seeing Eli in the hospital, and knowing that I had indirectly put him there…I just _couldn't _anymore. I knew that he had some sort of issues, because of his hoarding…but purposefully crashing his car, and seeing it as a sign of affection was too much for me. I was overwhelmed by the about of help I saw he needed.

So I ran away.

I'm not proud of how I acted. He needed me, and I bolted. He was there for me in my darkest hour, and I abandoned him in his.

A roll of thunder shook me from my thoughts. I sighed and walked away from my window and out into the hallway, looking for my mom.

"Mom?" No answer, so I tried again a little bit louder, "Mom!"

"What?" her slightly miffed voice drifted up the stairs.

"Alli just texted. Could you drive me to the Dot?"

Alli had in fact not texted. I just needed to get out of my room, out of my house…away from my problems.

"Can I go?" I asked, grabbing my purse and propelling myself down the stairs.

"Sure, Clare. Homework done?"

"Yes," I lied.

She raised an eyebrow.

"Alli is going to help me with my Algebra," I said, kind of flustered.

"Where's your book?"

"I don't need it; she's bringing her notes to go over the concepts with me."

Mom let out a great sigh. I knew she didn't quite believe me about the homework thing, but I had been so mopey lately, I knew she wanted me out of the house just as much as I wanted to leave.

"Okay, just text me when you're done, okay? I have a few things I have to take care of at the church later, around four actually. Can you two be done by four?" Mom asked, walking back into the kitchen to grab her purse.

I followed her. "Yeah, it shouldn't be too long, I'm not _that _dumb. Hey, Mom," I asked, noticing the giant plastic sheets draped over the table and missing handles on all the cabinets. "What's up with all of this?"

"Oh," she waved vaguely with her hands, dismissing my question. "Glen is doing a little work for free, a favor for an old friend. Isn't that sweet?"

"Yeah, "I responded, suddenly feeling very uneasy. "Uh, Mom. How long is this facelift going to take?"

"Oh, maybe two weeks, three tops. Why do you ask?" She checked herself in the mirror and fluffed her hair.

"No reason," I mumbled.

"Don't worry, darling," she smiled as she opened the back door. "Jake'll be around plenty."

Jake. Ugh! JAKE.

He was all I could think about on the drive to the Dot. I had hated him when I was little. He pulled my pigtails, slapped me instead of tagging me during tag, and threw dead frogs at me when my family visited his at the cabin all those years ago.

I had never expected him to be in my life again, or fill out so nicely…or kiss me. Gosh, that kiss. I thought about it just as much as I pined for Eli. Jake's kiss, it hadn't been unwelcome, but I hadn't really wanted it either. It was nice, his lips were soft and gentle…and I knew I should be happy that I was getting some sort of affection. But, he wasn't my _Eli._ He wasn't what I wanted.

With Eli, whenever our lips would meet, as incredibly cheesy as it sounds, there would be fireworks. My stomach would churn and erupt with crazy butterflies; Eli's kisses set me on fire.

That night, after I saw Eli at Above the Dot, after I lost it at his comatose state (why couldn't he have been like that when we were together? Oh right, no meds) Jake dragged me home, and took advantage of my vulnerable state. I think he thought he was helping me, but his kiss only further confused me.

Mom pulled up at the curb and unlocked the doors.

"I don't see Alli," she said, craning her neck to look inside.

"Yeah, Sav is bringing her," I said. "She'll be here soon. Love you!"

I hopped out of the car and raced to the door before she could say anything else.

The Dot was my safe haven as of late. Yes, Fitz worked here, but I had learned his schedule and knew the times to avoid.

"Clare," the man behind the counter said. "Pink lemonade and a brownie?"

I felt my face flush. He knew my name _and _what I wanted. Did I really come here that often?

"Yes, that'd be great, thanks."

I pulled out a couple dollars and laid them on the counter, smiling meekly again when he handed me my order. I turned to find a spot to sit, when I saw him.

Eli.

He was crouched in the corner booth, hunched over a notebook. He looked rather flustered and kept shaking his head and crossing things out in aggravation. My heart warmed a little. He had always been so fond of his writing. I briefly wondered what he was working on so intently until I realized where he was sitting.

Our booth. The secluded oasis in which we had spent hours, reading, laughing, and sharing snacks and sweet kisses. Eli still chose to sit there. I bit my lip in frustration and looked at the food in my hands. I thought about throwing it away but my stomach rumbled in protest.

I sank down onto one of the bar stools and hoped he wouldn't notice me. My current state of depression didn't exactly do much for my physical appearance.

I nibbled my brownie and sipped my lemonade, letting the minutes tick by. I glanced at the window and noticed the downpour had slowed to a dribble. It was probably best for me to leave. Seeing Eli here, seemingly unaffected by everything that had happened, happy almost, as he worked on his writing, only made me hurt more.

"Time to go," I whispered to myself and stood to leave.

"Oof," a warm body mumbled, colliding with me and sending me tumbling to the ground. "What the hell?"

"Watch where you're going," I snapped.

"Clare, wow. I'm sorry."

I knew that voice.

"Eli," I gasped, my voice betraying my desire to stay calm.

"You know, when girls fall for me, it's not usually in the literal sense," he smirked, winking down at me.

I blushed, but then my face crumpled in confusion.

"You seem…" I began.

"Better? Yeah, I finally got the dosage worked out on my meds. Adam mentioned your little meltdown to Cece and she thought it'd be better if I'm able to retain _some_ feeling." He offered his hand.

I took it and pulled myself up.

"Thanks," I muttered, trying to pull my hand away before I let myself get lost in his skin on mine once more.

Eli didn't let go.

"Clare," he began, squeezing my fingers. "Are you okay?"

"Eli, why wouldn't I be?" I scoffed

"It's just the other night," Eli started, but I didn't let him finish.

"I'm fine, Eli," I said a little too quickly, wondering where this sudden concern for my well-being was coming from. "I think I deserved to have a little bit of a temper tantrum. Though none I could ever throw could top yours." That was a low-blow, and I knew it. I was just embarrassed by my behavior and wanted to justify it.

His green eyes flashed and he let go of my hand.

"Okay, then."

"Bye," I whispered and fled.

Just my luck. As soon as I threw open the door to the Dot, the heavens opened and the rain gushed down. I ran as quickly as I could, wanting to leave Eli and the confusion he caused me far behind. I made it a few blocks before I rounded a corner too quickly and my feet gave way, tossing me onto the unforgiving pavement and ripping my pants. I rolled over and hit my fist on the ground in frustration.

"SHIT!" I screamed at the top of my lungs.

This was just not my day.


	2. On My Mind

I rolled onto my knees and just kneeled for a moment. The rain pelted by back, soaking through my clothes and increasing my distress. I sneezed.

_Great,_ I thought. _Now, on top of everything else, I'm sick._

I quickly stood and grabbed my purse, taking time to shove the box of tic tacs and sunglasses that had popped out during my fall back inside. I trekked home, more carefully now that Eli wasn't in the vicinity. My face burned. Why was it that I turned into some sort of fool whenever he was around? Things used to be so simple between us; I never had to give anything a second thought when I was in his company. Now, every time I saw his face I turned into this juvenile …bitch.

I shuddered, and then sighed in relief when I reached my street. Mom's car was in the driveway and my mind raced to find an excuse for my current state. I thought of none before I reached the door.

"Clare?"

So much for a stealthy entrance.

"Hey, Mom," I said quietly, hanging my purse in the entry way and walking into the living room.

"Clare!" She was up from the couch with her arms around me in an instant.

And then, without really meaning to, I started to sob.

My mom wasn't really one for physical affection. When Darcy and I were little, Dad was always the snuggly one, the one who held us when we fell off our bikes or, in my case, got a bad grade. Mom was always more distant, preferring to "let the chips fall" and move on. She always thought tears to be a sign of weakness. I wondered if that's why Darcy went to Kenya. To "move on."

It was so weird, to have her rub my back and whisper soothing things into my ear. This was so unlike her, but I found myself loving it; relishing in the attention.

"Clare," she whispered, her hand smoothing over the back of curls. "What happened? Did you and Alli have a fight? Do I need to call Mrs. Bhan-"

"No," I cut her off.

She pulled back and studied my puffy face, thin lips pursed. Her eyes were marked with worry and compassion. She slid her fingers across my cheeks, catching my tears with her thumbs, then moved her hands down my arms, squeezing my palms lightly before releasing me.

"Why don't you come sit down and tell me what happened."

It wasn't a question. I knew I was going to have to explain.

"Well, um. Alli wasn't ever going to meet me there. I just wanted to get out of the house," I sputtered pathetically. I felt horrible. A complete mess.

Over the months I dated Eli, I snuck out plenty of times. He was a real romantic, taking me on midnight picnics, swims and make out sessions. I had even spent the night with him the night of Adam's party. I told Mom I was staying with Jenna overnight to salvage our friendship and she ate it right up. Of course she hadn't known Jenna was pregnant at the time. I'm not so sure I would be allowed to stay with her now.

That night with Eli still made me squirm. Yeah, we had kissed a little. Okay, a lot. But there was something about falling asleep, all tangled up in each other…I had never felt so _complete._ I missed that. I miss him.

Those times with Eli, though. I had never regretted those. Never felt guilty about leaving after curfew, or lying about my whereabouts. Why was something as silly as "meeting Alli at the Dot" eating me up so much?

"I figured as much," she reproached, pulling me down to sit.

"You did?"

"Clare, I know you think of me as insensitive, or stupid, or not 'with it'," she said, using air quotes to emphasize her point and I laughed "But I was a teenager once, and I also know my own daughter. So why don't you tell me what's been on your mind?"

"Eli," I answered simply.

"What about him?"

"I miss him, Mom. I miss him so much."

"Clare," she started, and by her tone I could tell she was disappointed.

"I know, I know," I hiccupped. "I'm not supposed to care anymore. Good riddance, right? The boy was bogging me down. He was intense and scary."

"And he crashed his car on purpose," she added.

"But I loved him, Mom. I love him," I corrected myself.

She pursed her lips and just stared at me. She had never really liked Eli, but I guess in her mind he was temporary; a puppy love akin to KC that would be gone in a few months that she didn't really need to worry about. But I hadn't wanted that, I had wanted a forever with Eli. I knew that was a scary thought at fifteen, but he was my home. I needed him. At least, that's what I thought until Fitz showed up again and Eli's behavior changed.

"When I was seventeen, there was this boy, Clare," she began slowly.

"I already know how you met Dad," I said.

"No, before your father. His name was Henry Johnson and he was my pastor's son," she replied.

I balked. I had always been under the impression that Dad was her one and only.

"I thought he was the one," she continued quietly. I could hear much sadness in her voice. "He was my first kiss, my first boyfriend, my first everything."

I raised my eyebrows. Everything?

"We spent every waking moment together. He made me feel so exhilarated, so alive."

"What happened?"

"He broke up with me, just like that," she snapped her fingers and gave me a despondent smile. "It was the night before he went off to college. I came over to wish him luck, and when I went in to kiss him, he pulled back and told me it was over."

"Mom, I'm so sorry."

"It's not your fault sweetheart, and if it hadn't happened you probably wouldn't be here."

I paused for a moment, and let this information sink in. The clock in the corner's steady ticks let me know that time was passing.

"Your first everything?" I asked.

"Believe it or not, I'm not a perfect person, Clare. I made a lot of mistakes in my day, one's that left me with a broken heart," she said simply.

"Why are you telling me this?"

"Clare," she said, turning towards me and taking my hands in her own. "I'm so sorry that things didn't work out with Eli. I know how it feels, to invest everything you have into someone, and then they start acting differently. It's frustrating and scary and it breaks my heart to know you had to go through it so early in your life."

A tear rolled out of the corner of her eye, down her cheek and plopped itself onto our hands.

"Sweetheart," she continued. "I love you and your sister so much, and it hurts me to see you hurting. I've raised you the way I have so that you could avoid the same pitfalls I did."

Mom laughed, shaking her head.

"But this world is a cruel place and it seems hurt just has its little heart set on damaging my two beautiful girls. What's happened has happened. It's over and done with, you can't change it. You and Eli had something precious, Clare. But it's time to let it go. If there is anything I've learned from my divorce, is that it's not fair to yourself to keep hoping that the other person is going to change. That they're going to turn into the person they were when you first fell in love, because that's not how life works. People grow and evolve, for better or for worse, and sometimes people just aren't meant to be in our lives anymore, even people that we love."

"Is this your indirect way of telling me that if I screw up, we're through?" I asked, teasing.

"No, sweetheart. I just think you need to accept that the past can't be changed and move forward," she said, squeezing my hands once again.

"But, he _needs_ me, Mom. He needs me and I left him," I said weakly, my lower lip quivering with the effort not to cry again.

"No, what he needs is professional help and his parents. Not a fifteen year old girl who has only known him for eight months," she snapped.

"His parents are sending him to therapy, actually," I said. "After he crashed Morty, they decided he should go."

"See there, he's getting all the help he needs. Quit being such a worry wart and come here!"

She opened her arms for a hug and I slipped into the easily. I buried my face in her chest and she stroked my hair and until I was completely calm.

"Thanks, Mom," I mumbled into her shirt.

"That's why I'm here. Now, let's talk about productive things you can do to get your mind off this boy."

Now that sounded more like my mother I grew up with. Keep yourself busy. Move on. Do something productive, there's no time to feel.

"Mom, there's nothing at school that I'm really into anymore. I mean, besides the school part," I said pathetically, because it was oh so true.

"Come on, Clare! There has to be something. Oh," she said, sitting up excitedly and nearly throwing me off of her. "What about theater? You did so well with the props last year! You won that award and everything."

I thought about it. But it wasn't really my thing anymore, especially since Declan was no longer in the picture. "No, I don't think I want to do that."

"You could always get a job?"

"Are you asking me or telling me?" I laughed.

"Okay, how about something that's kind of like a job."

"Do I get paid?" I asked, interested.

"Well no, but it'll be great experience for college, and you're such a good writer, Clare I think this would be perfect for you!" Mom gushed.

"Okay, okay! What is it?"

"I got an email from Principal Simpson today, and the Degrassi Daily is looking for new columnists."

The newspaper? Oh. That actually sounded like fun. I would get to write and meet new people. AND it would eat up most of my time. Just what I needed.

"Yeah," I said. "I think I could do that."

"Great," Mom said. "The email said sign-ups are tomorrow during school, so make sure to put your name down!"

"I will, Mom," I said, chuckling at her enthusiasm.

"Now, go change out of those wet clothes and I'll take you to get some dinner," she responded.

I didn't really want to go back out. "Why can't we just eat at home?"

"Kitchen's all torn up, my dear. No way I can cook in that!"

"Oh, right. Okay."

I sprinted towards my room and couldn't help but smile. Maybe everything was going to be okay after all.


	3. Saturday's Moments

My alarm beeped obnoxiously, signaling the start of a new day. I rolled from my stomach to my back and blinked up at the ceiling, dreading what was to come. No wait, today was Saturday. No school, no stress, no _Eli._

I hopped out of bed and carefully padded downstairs to the kitchen, trying my best to remain quiet as Dad had come in really late last night. He was normally very grumpy in the mornings, and the long hours he had been working had not helped with that. At all.

The kitchen was still in a state of disrepair, only adding to Dad's frustrations. Jake and Glen had come by a couple of times, toting bags of tools and how-to manuals. The tension between Dad and Glen was so great that even Jake, Mr. Oblivious to everything but food, noticed it. I was really beginning to think that Glen was more than Mom's "old friend" and the fact that Dad was jealous of this fanned the spark inside of me for a parental reunion. I knew it was silly, and I was probably putting myself through more pain than necessary, but I wanted my old family back. Darcy would have to come back for that to happen, though. I laughed to myself. Darcy was long gone.

I managed to whip up some eggs and bacon. The eggs smelled a little off, but I was actually kind of hoping I would get food poisoning, and would get to stay home from school for the coming week. School continued to be terrible. My lovely, academic-focused, free-as-a-bird semester was going horribly. When I broke up with Eli, I was supposed to be getting rid of the stress he caused, but it only made it worse because I couldn't talk to him about it.

"Clare?"

I looked up from the frying pan.

"Morning," I said brightly.

Dad looked terrible. His hair was sticking up all over the place and the circles under his eyes were practically black. I made a mental note not to give him any of the eggs.

"Hot breakfast on Saturday morning? My, you treat me better than your mother ever did," he said, sitting down at the kitchen table and folding the plastic covering back. Its memory pushed it back over on top of his hands. "Damn thing."

"Dad," I scoffed, bringing him a plate with a few pieces of bacon on it.

"Sorry, Clare Bear. It's those nasty boys at the office, they're rubbing off on me," he winked.

I rolled my eyes and plopped down with my eggs, not bothering to mess with the plastic on the table. Dad continued to push it around, to his growing frustration.

"What's the point of this thing, anyway?" he asked, bacon bits dribbling out of his mouth.

"Well, it's a dust catcher, for you know…dust."

He just looked at me and continued to munch.

"I think, when Glen actually starts doing some work, like cutting the cabinets up or whatever, it keeps the table from getting all ruined. Mom wants to keep it," I finished lamely.

"Hmph," he grunted non -committedly.

"So," I said awkwardly, shoving some of the eggs into my mouth. They tasted horrible. "How are things at the office?"

He scowled at me from across the table like a petulant little boy. Okaaaaay then.

"Do you want any coffee?" I tried again, getting up to get myself a glass of orange juice, milk, tap water…anything really. I needed to get this crap egg taste of out my mouth.

"Sure, no sugar."

I raised my eyebrows and planned to give him a ton. He needed a pick me up.

"So, Clare," he mimicked my tone as I putzed around the kitchen. "How are things at school?"

I tried to just glare at him for asking such a cliché question, as he had done to me, but when I glanced over my shoulder, I saw nothing but genuine concern on his face. Wait, concern. Why?

"Why do you ask?" I responded, cautiously, but trying not to sound like it.

"Your mother told me you've been having a hard time lately."

"Oh."

"Sweetheart," he began, and I heard the chair legs scrape the floor as he pushed it back. He walked behind me and set his hands on my shoulders. "Can we talk about it?"

"What is there to say, Dad? It's just silly, teenage angst."

"Clare Diana," he said sternly, pressing his thumbs into my neck and turning me around. His face was serious and eyes pleading. "Please, talk to me. When your sister was….when she was hurt, your mother and I overlooked it as silly teenage angst. She desperately needed someone to talk to, and it should've been us. "

"What does this have to do with me?" I asked, hating that he brought up Darcy. The pain of her being gone never really went away and it was always worse when I had to talk about her.

"It has everything to do with you! I thought that I had done everything to protect you and your sister, to keep my little girls safe from the sick things that are out there, but apparently I was wrong!" He exclaimed. I could see tears pricking the edges of his eyes and he had my full attention. Dad never really gave me lectures, so since he was getting all riled up, I knew what he had to say must be pretty important.

"Daddy…"

"It's just, I'm, I'm done with thinking that anything my daughter is going through is just 'silly teenage angst.' I love you, Clare. Your hurt is my hurt," he finished.

I found it highly ridiculous that he had just divorced my mother, and then had the nerve to tell me that he was sorry I was hurting and having a crappy time in life, but I appreciated the sentiment. I let him hold me. He was big and strong, just like I remembered. He hugged me like he had when I was a little girl, except this time, he was the one crying. Not me.

We stood there for a while, in the middle of the torn-up kitchen, rocking back and forth. I was starting to get worried I would have to stand there all day, but the coffee machine beeped loudly and he went to pour himself a cup, wiping his eyes.

"Sorry, kiddo. I got a little carried away there."

"It's cool," I said, walking back over to the table to get our plates.

He grabbed his coffee and motioned for me to join him in the living room. I set the dirty dishes in the sink, and followed him.

"So, what's new and exciting in the life of Clare?"

"Well," I sighed, sitting down on the couch and curling my legs underneath me. "I'm on the newspaper staff now."

"That's wonderful!" Dad smiled brightly and patted me on the back. I must've grimaced because he withdrew his hand. "Isn't it?"

"I guess so."

He poked my side. "Clare."

"I wanted to do something for me this semester. I thought the newspaper would be the perfect distraction."

"And it's not?"

"The editor, Katie Maitlin, gave me this audition article, 100 words on how to get over a break-up," I began.

"Oooh! Katie! We like her, right?" he interrupted.

I smiled half-heartedly. If he had asked me that a week ago, the answer would've been an enthusiastic yes. I used to really look up to Katie. Dad called it a girl crush.

"Sort of. I really wanted to impress her, so I wrote her a 1,000 word article, instead of 100," I finished quietly. Dad made a face. "I know, I know. Not my best move."

"So how did you still get a job on the paper?"

"Well, I may or may not have complained about it to Alli in front of Sav, and he may or may not have said something to Katie about it," I said.

"Ah, and Katie thinks you went crying to Sav and he bullied her into giving you a spot?"

"Well, not _bullied,_ per say," I interjected lamely. "It's just, I didn't want Sav to, I never asked him, but Katie thinks I did. She doesn't take me seriously. She thinks I'm spoiled."

"Ah, kiddo. Just write her some kickass articles and she'll forgive you in no time," said Dad.

"Randall Edwards!" I gasped in mock horror, shoving my hand over his mouth.

"Sorry, sorry," he chuckled, pushing my hand away. "How about…extremely well-written, intense and eye-opening articles?"

"As much I like how that sounds, that's kind of the catch," I said.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, since she doesn't think I earned my spot on the paper, she is making me cover the school play, which Eli is writing."

"Oooh. Hate her!" Dad said, still smiling. He obviously didn't get it.

"No, Dad. She did it on purpose!" I exclaimed. "I could see it in her eyes when she asked me to do it. It was like 'fine, you can be on my paper, but I'm going to torture you.'"

"I'm sure it's not _that_ bad, Clare," Dad said, his eyebrows raised in mild concern.

"Ah, but it is. I've had to interview Eli twice," I said, my voice very quiet, and very,very sad.

"Eli," he said tersely.

"He's writing the school play, and I know it's going to be brilliant. He's such a good writer and I'm so excited for him to have this opportunity," I said, feeling my eyes grow wet.

"But?"

"But he's using our story, Dad. The story of us."

Dad really had never liked Eli, but that was really my own fault. I didn't paint him in the glowing light he deserved. Because of this, I never expected him to hold me like he did as I recounted my run-ins with Eli over the past week, and his bizarre new friend Imogen who had a penchant for calling people by their first and last names.

"She so creepy, Dad. She just showed up by his shoulder, like out of nowhere," I sobbed. I was jealous of her new found position in Eli's life, but another emotion was definitely greater: concern for him and his mental stability.

"And you're sure he threw all his pills away?" Dad asked, now fully absorbed in what was going on in my life.

"Yeah, right in front of me!"

"Okay, well I think the best course of action would be to tell Mr. and Mrs. Goldsworthy. If it was me, I would want to know," said Dad.

"I can't just tell on him," I replied.

"Clare, if one of Darcy's friends had bothered to tell us what was really going on with her, do you have any idea how much pain our family could have avoided? If only Helen and I had known earlier, she would never have….have," he stopped talking and gave me a pointed look. "I'll call them."

I couldn't bear to speak to Cece. Not again, not like this. She was the woman who had been so kind and loving to me over the course of Eli and I's relationship. After I left her son, her sweet "baby boy" she probably hated me. She did deserve to know, though. Eli was the light of her life.

"No, I'll do it. I have her number upstairs on my desk," I said.

"Okay, well let me know how it goes? I've got to shower and go into the office for a few hours. Will you be okay here by yourself?

"Of course! I'm almost sixteen, come on," I scoffed.

"True," he replied, standing and heading for the stairs. "Actually, I think Glen and his son are due later on to bring by more supplies. I don't want you alone with them, so just have them leave it in the driveway, okay?"

"Okay."

Dad showered and was gone before I knew it. I was staring at my cell phone when he came into my room to kiss me goodbye, and two hours later I was still staring at it. Nerves gnawed at my stomach at the thought of talking to Cece, so I kept putting it off. I had a draft of my article due to Katie on Monday morning, and since Eli had not given me much of anything to go on, I called Fiona.

She was kind of helpful, fleshing out the storyline enough for me to write about, but the article still really sucked. It was only a draft, though. Hopefully Katie wouldn't kill me.

My phone buzzed and I nearly jumped up through the ceiling. Upon checking it, I was relieved to see it was just Alli.

_Jake coming by today? ;)_

Oh my gosh, give it a rest girl! I certainly didn't want Jake. Alli could have him.

_I think so. Why? _

Alli was always too boy crazy for my liking, but I chastised myself. I had become just like her. But not this semester. This semester was all about me.

_Oh….no reason. I was thinking I need to come by and see you though :)_

I was about to text her back, when I heard a car pull up. Moments later, there was a knock on the front door and I could hear a set of gruff voices coming from outside. The Martins.

As much as I didn't want to be, I was really excited to see Jake. I threw my phone on my bed and all thoughts of telling the Goldsworthy's about their son left my mind. If Eli wanted to be crazy, fine let him. I didn't care anymore.

But deep down, I knew I really did.


End file.
